Intention 

 

Living with intention brings deep meaning and satisfaction to life. Surprisingly, when we’re not satisfied with our lives and our relationships, it isn’t necessarily because we’ve made bad choices. Rather, it’s often because we go through life instinctively —without conscious intent. (1)

How can we invigorate the most important parts of our lives? We spend so much energy on relationships, work, and more. Being mindful of why we do what we do in our daily lives is a key to fulfillment.

Meet Betty and Irv, two fictional characters who are a lot like many of us. When they got married, they hoped to create a long life of companionship and connection. In the beginning, they were focused on this intention and thrilled with each other. Unfortunately, they became so caught up in the daily grind of work and chores (and kids) that their marriage became a victim of routine. Sure, they still got along and worked together as a team, but they became more like roommates and coworkers than two people deeply in love with each other. Nothing was really wrong, but they weren’t exactly satisfied or fulfilled. What happened? They lost their intention.

Here’s another example: Adam struggled with overeating. As a traditional but nonobservant Jew, he was familiar with the concept of kosher food but never really understood it. One day, an observant friend described how eating only eating kosher food can help us master our cravings and live a more elevated, spiritual life. Adam decided to give it a try and lost almost 10 pounds! (Sometimes finding kosher symbols on food at the grocery store was so tiring he just gave up and bought less food.) However, despite continuing to keep kosher by all standards, over time Adam gained back the weight he lost—and then some. What happened?

Adam didn’t consider that while Judaism’s rules offer powerful tools for living a balanced and elevated life, we need to be intentional about why we follow them. We can’t just go through the motions. Otherwise, eating kosher (or any other observance) can feel meaningless and even become a source of resentment. (2)

One last example: Moshe and Aron were childhood friends who decided to dedicate their lives to Judaism. Moshe became a consummate scholar. While Aron studied, he also spent significant time developing his personality to become more spiritual. Moshe always wondered why folks like Aron didn’t spend all of their time studying.

One day, Moshe asked Aron about the time he spent working on his spirituality rather than studying. Aron explained that while he spent countless hours mastering Jewish knowledge, he took time out of his learning to contemplate the Almighty’s creation and to refine his character because the ultimate goal—for scholars and for everyone else—is to connect to Hashem and emulate His kindness to humanity.

Moshe agreed that this was certainly the goal, and realized that he’d been missing something. While he too began his dedication to Judaism with this goal in mind, for some unexplained reason he had lost track of what motivated that very dedication. Aron made a powerful point: “The ideas we ignore most are the ones that are so obvious.” The simplicity of these ideas “tricks” us into thinking that we don’t need to be mindful of them. Moshe decided then and there to spend some time every day working on being intentional about his studies and to round out his Jewish activity so that he would fulfill their ultimate goal. (3)

Try not to make Moshe’s mistake. Consider what you spend most of your time on (work, family, school, friendships, Jewish study) and ask yourself: “How often do I think about the goal of this activity?” If we think—just once a day—about what we are trying to get out of our existence, the endless hours of effort will become so much more meaningful, and we will be so much happier and motivated to fulfill our goals.

Notes:
1. The Kuzari (3:13–17) demonstrates how the pleasure we derive from anything is vastly enhanced the more we are conscious of it. See an expansion of this concept in Or Hatzafoon (3:84–7) and Be’atzascha Tancheni 1:8.

2. Maimonides (Shemonah Perakim #3) explains that the Torah’s commandments and prohibitions are designed to lead a person to a balanced life, and that the Talmud (Moed Katan 5b) alludes to this when it instructs us to evaluate our ways each day. Nachmanides (Vayikrah 19:3) writes that by commanding us to “be holy,” the Torah dismisses those who allow themselves to become gluttonous as long as they technically fulfill the commandments by eating kosher food, etc.

3. This example is an adaptation of several points from Mesilas Yesharim (Introduction, Chapters 2 & 3). The story is adapted from the Mesilas Yesharim Dialogue Version (Introduction). Aron is described as having a thorough knowledge of Torah as the Mesilas Yesharim (Chapter 12) describes Nekiyus as including having a complete mastery of practical Halacha. See also Nefesh Hachaim (4:7), who says that it is proper to spend a little time being intentional to connect to Hashem through the study of Torah before and during the actual studying.